© Wellness4everyone 2008. All rights reserved.
Author: Andrew Cox
Tough times are a big part of what makes us successful, as survivors and leaders. Getting through them effectively
and positively depends on how we treat that space. Our personal survival tools go a long way to getting us through tough times. Some
may call them coping tools - they're much more than that. We're talking about tools to help us stay positive and focused and optimistic.
Developing
powerful survival tools starts with the realization that what you expect is what you get. Think positive expectations and get more
than your share of them. But most of us are conditioned to think pessimistically - to expect the worst outcome. Take a look at all
the media inputs we get every day for one major source of our negative conditioning.
So how do we overcome all the negative inputs
directed at us every day, and create our own survival and success tools? The answer to that question is a very personal one - every
one of us has our own unique set of experiences, perceptions, values and attitudes, and they all drive how we will create our own
tools. The important thing is to create your own tools, and keep them shiny with use.
Here are a few suggestions from many of
the leaders we have worked with that have helped them with their tough times.
Express your goals and expectations in positive ways - focus on where you're going, not what you want to stay away from.
Know that
giving in to despair and pessimism is very human - even the most positive do that. It's the overcoming of those emotions through action
that lifts you up.
Ask for help. Realize that the highest order of relationships is interdependence. Most people are anxious to give
- if we let them know by asking. We can't assume others know what is going on in our heads - they don't.
Give without calculating return.
Nothing can help to get through tough times more than helping someone else get through their tough times. Giving comes in so many
different ways - but you know it when you see it.
Don't compare. It's easy to fall into the trap of seeing others who seem to be on
top of the world, and feeling envious toward them. A human emotion, but destructive. Realize that every one of us carries around our
own burdens - who are we to judge the weight of another's?
Kick start every day by creating positive space. A friend starts his days
with high energy, positive music. He gets up with positive energy and a head start on positive emotions. I have written about Ray
Stevens’s song "Everything Is Beautiful In Its Own Way." I hear that song and it just lifts me up - makes me smile - gives me a blast
of positive energy.
Dream - just don't dream of things that never were or never will be. Dreams are a sign of hope - a precious commodity
during the tough times we all face. As Rudyard Kipling wrote in his famous poem "If" - "If you can dream, and not let dreams become
your master."
Start and end every day with a success - as you define success. The very act of getting up and getting going can be a
success - each of us has to define what success is. But be convinced that in every day there are the seeds of success - and look for
them. Exercise is a great daily success - it's personal, requires action, and results in physical well being.
Create rewards. They
don't have to be big, but they are your own recognition of a job well done - a day well spent - fears faced and overcome. Many leaders
find keeping a journal of accomplishments and challenges helps them reward themselves by writing it down.
If you see ways these suggestions
can help during tough times - and - by the way - during non- tough times as well, then start using them today.
Andy Cox helps clients
align their resources and design and implement change through the application of goals focused on the important few elements that
have maximum impact in achieving success - as defined by the client. He can be reached at http://www.coxconsultgroup.com and E Mail
at acox@coxconsultgroup.com